Drunken proles
Okay, so after walking Helen home ( :D ) from Tom's most excellent partay (when did the rest of the yobs leave, I wonder?), I was riding home on my bike, when I saw a woman's shoe flying across the road at me, from a little scuffle involving 2 (I hesitate to call them ladies, but could hardly call them girls) and a bloke. I promptly dumped my bike and went over to make sure nobody was going to get injured etc. I wasn't going to do anything on my own, so I beckoned to some onlookers who were watching from about 10 yards away (not exactly useful if anything *does* start to happen). Took a few blank looks, but eventually, some guys came over to "break it up". Nobody needed to be touched, because it was a jealous (recently made ex-) girlfriend, and when she realised that she was being quite so undignified, she started to calm down a little.

I then got back on my bike and was waiting at the traffic lights when some random guy came up to me and said "You're cool: I like you". It was only then that I realised that I had just almost gotten involved in a street scuffle, while wearing black tie, with a shiny red waistcoat and pocket watch.